Late-night hosts to Trump: 'You know who’s got really bad ratings? You do'

Extract from The Guardian

Comics, including Stephen Colbert and Trevor Noah, discussed the president’s personal attacks and his ties with Russia

 Stephen Colbert: ‘I do occasionally use adult language and I do it in public instead of in the privacy of an Access Hollywood bus’ Photograph: YouTube

Guardian staff

Saturday 13 May 2017 01.33 AEST 

Late-night hosts spoke about the president’s latest personal attacks as well as the ongoing fallout from his firing of FBI director James Comey.
In an interview with Time magazine, Donald Trump attacked Stephen Colbert, calling him a “no-talent guy” who wasn’t funny. On The Late Show, Colbert was thrilled with the response.

“The president of the United States has personally come after me and my show and there’s only one thing to say: hee-hee-hee yay!” he laughed.
The host explained how Trump’s angry words played well for him. “Mr Trump, there’s a lot you don’t understand but I never thought one of those things would be show business,” he said. “Don’t you know I’ve been trying for a year to get you to say my name and you were very restrained, admirably restrained, but now you did it. I won.”
He continued: “Oh please, don’t make me trend on Twitter again.”
In the interview, Trump also criticized the “filthy” language that Colbert has been using, adding that kids are watching. “You’re not wrong, I do occasionally use adult language, and I do it in public instead of in the privacy of an Access Hollywood bus,” he said.
Trump also claimed that when he came on the show, Colbert experienced the highest ratings he’s ever had. (It actually attracted two million fewer viewers than Colbert’s debut episode at The Late Show.) “The only episode that got better ratings was the night I had Jeb Bush on,” he said. “You got beat by low-energy Jeb. But don’t worry, you won the ratings college.”
Another section of the interview claimed that Trump has saved Colbert’s career, who would be off the air if it wasn’t for his post-election jabs.
“Making jokes about you has been good for ratings,” he said. “It’s almost as if the majority of Americans didn’t want you to be president. But you know who’s got really bad ratings these days? You do. Terrible approval numbers. I hear they’re thinking of switching your time slot with Mike Pence.”
He ultimately decided upon a smart strategy: “If you really want to take me down, then there’s an obvious way: resign.”

On The Daily Show, Trevor Noah pondered: “It’s starting to feel less like Putin is blackmailing Trump and more like he has him hypnotized.”

He spoke about Trump’s decision to meet with Russian officials during such a difficult week. American press were banned from taking photographs yet the Russian media were allowed in and then promptly leaked the evidence, which surprised Trump’s administration. “I can’t believe how innocent Trump’s people are,” he said. “The Russians lied to us? When has that ever happened before?”
He continued: “Russia is owning Donald Trump so hard right now, it’s embarrassing.”
Noah then examined the leaked pictures of Trump with the Russians. “Look at his smile, really?” he said. “Your happiest moment in the White House is when the Russians come? I mean I guess I shouldn’t be shocked. I’d also be happy if my boss came to visit me at work.”

On Late Night with Seth Meyers, the host also spoke about Trump’s meeting with Sergey Kislyak. “He looks like they fished the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man out of the East River,” he said.
He then looked at the way Fox News covered Trump’s angry morning tweets this week, simply by telling the audience that he was awake. “They report on the president the same way the Japanese press reports on Godzilla,” he said.
Trump’s people had claimed that firing Comey wasn’t his decision but was based on a recommendation, something he then denied in an NBC interview. “Trump’s ego is so huge that he can’t even let someone else have the spotlight in his own alibi,” he said. “He’s like a Scooby Doo villain.”
In the same interview, he also claimed he knew he wasn’t under investigation as he hadn’t been asked to submit paperwork. “I guess there’s one upside of being sued as many times as Trump has: he’s an expert on being investigated,” he said.