*THE WORKER* BRISBANE, SEPTEMBER 28, 1895. Smoko-Ho

 *THE WORKER*

BRISBANE, SEPTEMBER  28, 1895.

Smoko-Ho

THE most dangerous rebellion is the rebellion of the belly. - BACON.

AMERICAN Millionaire Vanderbilt’s daughter has bought the English Duke of Marlborough. They are to be married shortly.

TWO clergymen at Newcastle, N.S.W., are fighting it out in the law courts. Cause, alleged slander. Damages £5000.

AMERICAN newspaper proprietors and publishers have formed a union to fight the recently formed paper manufacturers trust.

THERE was a lively quarter of an hour recently at a meeting of the Townsville Council all through Alderman Lowry insisting on referring to the Governor as “Mr. Norman.”

SPEAKING for itself, the Mundic Miner says it “cares not a single damn if the gold yield of the whole country dropped out in one week. Gold is the curse of humanity and serves to hold men in bondage.”

THE Ipswitch Standard (second number) to hand in a larger and improved form. It is now the size of the WORKER. The Standard contains a great quantity of really good reform literature. Poor Barlow!

THE toast of “Advance Australia” was moved at the Mark Twain reception in Sydney by Henry Parkes and William Windeyer - one a discredited and defeated politician, the other a discountenanced and despised judge.

FREDERICK Engels, the co-worker of Karl Marx, died in London on August 6th in his 75th year. He did much for the toilers by his actions and writings, and his ringing words: “Workmen of all countries, unite,” will live on.

A THIEF in England, who recently stole eight Bibles, valued at 25s., in reply to the magistrate’s question as to what he had to say for his conduct, replied that he stole the Bibles with the intention of starting a Sunday School.

A Man has been arrested in Melbourne for passing notes on a defunct bank. All criminals drop into it “pretty hot” in Melbourne except the director who originally issued these notes and kept issuing them knowing them to have no security.

THE Clarion Newspaper Company forward a copy of “Merrie England,” new edition, price 3d. This edition has a photo, of the author on the cover, and a preface containing certain facts in connection with the publication of one of the most unique productions of the century.

YOU can’t beat the Yankee for advertising. A parson in the State of Washington recently billed himself to deliver an address, taking for his subject “The Serman on the Mount.” He delivered the sermon all right, but he climbed 15,000 feet to the top of Mount Tacoma to do so.

It seems a most extraordinary thing that production is not allowed to proceed unless the money-owner can add to his plethora of wealth. A parallel case would be to say that the man without bread shall have no opportunity to get a loaf unless he who had 900 leaves shall have the power to make that number into 1000.

For certifying to the correctness of a balance-sheet issued by the London and General Bank, whose accounts were cooked in order to pay a fraudulent dividend, an English auditor has been compelled to fork out £8,406 11s.  Depositors and shareholders in Australian banks should keep this in memory.

THE Shop Assistant’s Early Closing Association had their second annual plain and fancy dress ball in the Centennial Hall on Wednesday evening, the 18th September. There were not quite so many couples present as last year, still the ball was a great success. The object of the association, the reduction of the hours worked by late-hour shop assistants should commend itself to everybody.

THE National Ass. emissaries have played havoc with the electoral rolls throughout the colony, and the thousands of persons who are either “dead,” “left,” or “disqualified, “ must haunt their nightly repose. These same emissaries are now endeavouring to make amends for their misdeeds and bleeding their employers in one act by replacing as many friendly names as possible at the freedom of contract price of nine pence each.

THE following interesting telegraphic news appeared in the Melbourne Age recently:- “A peculiar incident of the drought is reported from Emmaville, where there are large numbers of Chinese fossickers, who were much retarded in their work by want of rain. They prayed to their joss for some time and then, losing patience, chopped him up, burnt him, and installed a new joss. Almost immediately afterwards rain fell. The latest joss accordingly has been accorded a grand feast. 

THREE policemen in Melbourne - constables Coffey, Quilty, and Coghlan - have been tried by a special board and fined £10 each for swearing that a Mrs. Symmott (whose husband sued her unsuccessfully for a divorce) was the occupant of a house of questionable fame in Melbourne. It was proved conclusively she was in Europe at the time. The woman’s wealth enabled sufficient evidence to be brought forward to contradict the police. What chances would poverty have against three policemen?

THE appointment of a new judge appears to be a very very difficult point with the Government, but if Tommy Byrnes, the Torney General, will consider the matter in the light of seniority, it ought to be easily settled. Charley Turner is said to be the senior barrister practising at the bar, and if there is anything in seniority it is a pity that the position should any longer remain vacant whilst he is on the spot. Many persons would travel long distances to listen to Charley delivering judgement in an intricate case, or to see him in the full Court agreeing with brother Griffith and “quite coinciding” with  brother Real.

WRITES  our special; M. J. F. Mercier, who has been resident in Wellington for some months, is about to make another tour of the North Island in the interest of the New Zealand Workers’ Union. Mr. M. is a hard grafter in the Cause, and is one of those who help on the attaining of Socialism in our day. He is heart and soul with the anti-Chinese movement, is an energetic member of the Eight-hour Day Committee, and is busy organising a unique workers’ union - the domestic servants of the Empire City of Maori-land. You should have seen the joy beaming on J.F.M.'s frontispieces when he saw the WORKER’S reprints of Minister for Labour Reeve’s anti-Chinese speech. It was immense-the smile, I mean.

MARK Twain, being asked by a Sydney press representative for his views on the question of land nationalisation, said: “I have nothing that could properly be called ‘views’ on the subject. That would be too strong a phrase for a person who thinks so loosely and studies so loosely as I do; but it has seemed to me, from reading Henry George’s books and some others in the same vein, that if we could stop now and start again, and let the Government own the land, and leave it to people who would work it, and not leave it lying idle, that would be a measure of justice. Bit I do not see how so prodigious a revolution like that could be brought about without stopping dead and starting again; and to do that would mean a sort of revolution that is not to be brought about in this world except by bloodshed.”