Extract from The Guardian
Late-night hosts discuss the convening of a grand jury in Manhattan DA to investigate Trump’s business practices.
Seth Meyers on grand jury investigation into Trump’s business dealings: ‘At this point, I wouldn’t be shocked if it turned out he tried to claim a deduction for a bribe.’
Last modified on Fri 28 May 2021 01.41 AEST
Seth Meyers
Seth Meyers dug into the rising tide of legal trouble engulfing Donald Trump, as the Manhattan district attorney, Cyrus Vance, announced this week that his investigation into the former president’s business practices had reached the grand jury stage, suggesting evidence of criminal behavior.
“Trump’s been in potential legal hot water for a 0.while now,” the Late Night host said on Wednesday evening, “as evidenced not just by his own criminal probes but all the criminals or alleged criminals surrounding him,” including his former campaign manager Steve Bannon (indicted, then pardoned), adviser Roger Stone (pardoned), national security adviser Michael Flynn (pardoned), foreign policy adviser George Papadopoulos (pardoned), deputy chair of his inaugural committee Elliott Broidy (pardoned), deputy chair of his campaign, Rick Gates (went to prison, pardoned), his personal lawyer Michael Cohen (went to prison) and his other personal lawyer Rudy Giuliani (under active criminal investigation).
“It’s just basic logic that if you’re surrounded at all times by that many criminals, there’s a solid chance you’re also a criminal,” said Meyers. “You never hear someone on stage at a concert say ‘that’s Doug on the bass, give it up for Russell on rhythm guitar, that’s Mick on lead, that’s Billy on keyboards, and me? Oh, I’m not in a band.’
“I’m just shocked it took two years,” said Meyers of the Manhattan DA’s pivot to a grand jury hearing, which could lead to criminal charges. “Trump has arguably confessed to multiple crimes in public, incited a violent insurrection, been impeached twice, was an indicted co-conspirator in a hush money case, paid just $750 in federal income taxes while he was president, and did everything possible to hide his taxes from public view.
“At this point, I wouldn’t be shocked if it turned out he tried to claim a deduction for a bribe,” he continued. “I mean, what else do we need? Trump to show up to a Fox interview with a shovel and a shirt that says ‘I love burying bodies?’”
The heat on Trump’s business practices is especially rich, Meyers added, because if he “hadn’t run for president, he probably would’ve gotten away with all of this stuff – defrauding banks, deflating assets, rich people get away with that stuff all the time and the banks just shrug and raise our ATM fees. No one cared about Trump’s tax returns when he was just a cable news blowhard who called in to Fox & Friends to shoot the shit or spend his time tweeting about Diet Coke.
“But Trump had to go run for president like a moron and attract the attention of prosecutors scrutinizing every aspect of his life and business,” he conclude. “Which is not a good idea, when you’re famously a corrupt real estate mogul and reality show host surrounded by shady characters.”
Stephen Colbert
On the Late Show, Stephen Colbert also discussed the Manhattan DA’s scrutiny of Trump’s real estate businesses, looking for manipulation of property values and illegal tax benefits obtained through “unscrupulous asset valuation”.
“Well of course they’re unscrupulous!” he said. “This man has never ‘scruped’. Investigators better bring an ‘unscruper scooper’.
“It’s not a surprise that the formation of this grand jury did not sit well with Clown-igula,” Colbert added. “He put out an internet post calling the investigation a ‘witch hunt’, that was purely political.
“Not purely – it was also emotional and spiritual,” he joked. “Every one of my chakras wants you in jail.”
In other news, 127 days into his presidency, “so far Joe Biden has been driving exactly as you’d expect a 78-year-old: slowly, with his left turn signal on the whole time,” Colbert said. “But that could all come to an end thanks to an explosive, behind-the-curtains look at the Biden presidency in the Washington Post this week.”
The non-exposé found that Biden’s “preferred lunch” is a soup and salad – usually a chopped one, with grilled chicken – and that he’s “partial” to orange Gatorade and Coke Zero. “The Washington Post just broke the biggest story of the year: this president likes salad,” Colbert deadpanned.
Jimmy Kimmel
“The walls are closing in” on Donald Trump, said Jimmy Kimmel on Wednesday evening. “Can you imagine Donald Trump on trial? Putting that little orange hand on a Bible, suddenly the Bible bursts into flames?”
The Manhattan grand jury will meet three times a week for a minimum of six months, “and then who knows? Maybe it will happen – maybe he will go to prison,” said Kimmel, although “it really wouldn’t be much of a change from the life he’s living now – he’s trapped at Mar-a-Lago, eating crappy food, making small talk. The only difference is in jail he’ll play less golf and have more sex.”
Kimmel also touched on Trump’s waning online interest – according to a Washington Post report, the former president’s personal website, where he releases his statements, had fewer views last month than PetFinder.com and the recipe website Delish. “He’s like the InstaPot of presidents,” Kimmel joked. “He still has some diehards but most people put him in the back of the pantry and moved on with their lives.”
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