Monday, 5 December 2016

In these turbulent times, take a break from social media to find comfort

Extract from The Guardian
David Sax
The internet is often a stream of anxiety-inducing hatred. Solace can only be found in the real world
A man walks along a tree lined path
 ‘ Like many others, I am seeking comfort away from the screen.’ Photograph: Alamy
Sunday 4 December 2016 23.00 AEDT

Five days after the election of Donald Trump, I stood in line at the airport wanting to kill time. I glanced at Twitter on my phone, almost by instinct, to snuff out a momentary feeling of boredom. What greeted me shouldn’t have been a surprise, given what I had read all week: a steady stream of hate promised, chronicled, photographed as it was unleashed throughout America, filled my timeline.
As the plane began its taxi, my mind spiraled down an abyss of dark thoughts. Was the America I knew, loved, and once lived in, now a place I should viscerally fear? Would I witness this hate firsthand? Would I walk by unsettling graffiti, or feel the string of racism shouted as I spoke in front of crowds of strangers? My stomach churned as the plane climbed, and when the seatbelt sign turned off, I had to lock myself in the bathroom for a few minutes, taking deep breaths to stop my whole body from shaking.
As I walked back to my seat, I unexpectedly spotted my friend Avi. “Oh man,” I said, squeezing his head in a massive hug, “you have no idea what a sight for sore eyes you are.” The relief in a familiar face was immense. I sat back down, read a novel, had a great conversation with my seat-mate and even slept a bit. By the time the plane landed, the fear that had consumed me on takeoff seemed silly.
I noticed that Twitter, Facebook and other digital forms of communication fed and nurtured my very real anxiety until it consumed me. Whenever I turned to the internet for a distraction, and even a possible sense of reassurance, I was instead sent reeling to the worst corner of my psyche. Only when I consciously stepped away from the screen, did I regain some sense of calm and perspective.
I wasn’t burying my head in the sand. One morning, in Washington, DC, I read the newspaper over breakfast. While the news was increasingly alarming, reading about it on the printed page didn’t spur the same sense of panic that it did online. It was more manageable in paper. And trust-worthy: there are no bots or fakes to worry about. It’s all vetted enough to make it into print. The headlines didn’t stream forward or suck me down a rabbit hole, either. They lay there, next to my eggs and coffee, and relayed their information. No more. No less.
Not so long ago, the internet was a reliable escape from the harsh reality of the world. Today, it is the reality we need to escape from. Like many others, I am seeking comfort away from the screen. The only things that seem to make any sense, and to lighten the darkness, are those precious moments offline. Listening to a record. Escaping into the pages of a familiar paperback. Playing board games with friends. Seeking refuge from the uncertainty fed up so efficiently online, in ways that feel grounding and familiar.
Inevitably, these interactions lead me away from the echo chambers and into face-to-face interactions with fellow humans and strangers. These were conversations, not comments, which established empathy – sometimes even greater degree of understanding. Online, it seemed like an army of racist reactionaries had conquered America. But the America I knew was still there, full of its usual problems and prejudices, but also its broad smiles, big bellied laughs and generous servings of abundance. 
This Thanksgiving, we gathered around the table, filled our glasses with wine and our plates with turkey, laughed and talked, as Bonnie Raitt spun on the turntable, and a fire crackled in the fireplace. Throughout that epic meal, none of us picked up a phone, even to take a photo. As our kids ran wild through the house, we openly shared our fears, frustrations, and even hopes over what happened, and what might come to pass.
We weren’t ignoring the present for some pre-digital nostalgia. We were taking hold of the world we could see and feel, while giving thanks for the chance to connect, just for a brief moment, in a way that felt really, truly, comforting.

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