Comics, including Stephen Colbert, Trevor Noah and Jimmy Kimmel,
discussed the stock market fall, the Nunes memo and the Super Bowl
Stephen Colbert
“Remember when Donald Trump told us we’d be tired of winning? Well, evidently, the stock market is exhausted,” Stephen Colbert began. “Because after losing 666 points on Friday, Monday said, ‘Hold my beer.’ Today posted the greatest single same-day drop in stock-market history: 1,600 points. By the end, the Dow closed down almost 1,200 points, erasing its gains for the entire year.“Now the speculation is that this happened because of fears the Fed will be raising interest rates,” Colbert explained. “That’s one explanation. Did anything else happen this afternoon that could have shattered national confidence? Oh, right: this afternoon Trump was in Cincinnati where he spoke to factory workers about how great the economy is doing.”
The host went on to show footage from Trump’s speech, which began before the Dow Jones plunged. “It was an especially awkward moment because Trump was in town to tout the benefits of the Republican tax plan,” Colbert said. “And he knows exactly who deserves all the credit for the booming economy.”
A clip from Trump’s speech showed the president saying “you can work hard, but if you don’t have the right leader setting the right tone …”, before trailing off and insisting he was “braggadocious”.
“Not clapping for you isn’t treason,” Colbert replied. “But don’t worry, Mr President: you could find out the exact definition of treason pretty soon.”
Trevor Noah also discussed Trump’s suggestion that opposition to him amounts to treason, as well as the fallout from the Friday release of a memo authored by the House intelligence committee chairman, Devin Nunes.
“President Trump was in a really good mood today, even though his beloved stock market took a knee,” Noah began. “Which is totally not his fault, because it’s only him when it goes up. Besides, he’s still riding his State of the Union high.”
Showing Trump’s speech in Cincinnatti, Noah led in to Trump’s treason remark by saying, “When you watch him, there are moments when you’re starting to have a good time, and then he says something and you’re like, what?”
“Sweet lord. Treason?” the host responded. “You realize you can get the death penalty for that. Even Ivan the Terrible would be like, ‘You killed them for what? Bad vibes?’”
Noah then proceeded to discuss the “Nunes memo”, which Trump believes to have vindicated him in the ongoing Russia investigation by alleging that the Obama justice department improperly surveilled Trump campaign adviser Carter Page.
“Here’s the thing: unlike Trump, some Republicans in Congress actually read the memo, which is why they didn’t come to the same conclusion,” Noah said, showing news clips in which one congressman says the memo “has nothing at all to do with the special counsel” and another where Republican Trey Gowdy, who says he was “pretty integrally involved in the drafting” of the memo, says it does not exonerate Trump.
“Wow, even Trey Gowdy, Mr Benghazi Forever, says that this memo in no way exonerates Trump in the Russia investigation, and he wrote the memo,” Noah said. “But if you’re truly devoted to the church of Trump, then you know that the memo’s true reason for being is to discredit the FBI, right?”
Jimmy Kimmel
Finally, Jimmy Kimmel congratulated Philadelphia Eagles fans on the franchise’s first ever Super Bowl championship.“As you know, the day after the Super Bowl should be a national holiday,” Kimmel said. “They should swap President’s Day out for Super Bowl Monday. The fact that we have to work the morning after being required, as Americans, to watch a game, drunk no less, is really downright unpatriotic.
“And I’m calling on President Trump to do something about it right now,” the host joked.
“It was a sad night for New England Patriots fans, and an even sadder night for fans of This Is Us last night,” Kimmel said, referring to the episode of the NBC hit that aired directly after the game featuring a prominent character’s death.
“After more than 50 years of failure, Eagles fans flooded the streets of Philadelphia to celebrate their team’s historic victory the old-fashioned way,” Kimmel continued, showing video of Philadelphians climbing lamp-posts, jumping from scaffolding, and even collapsing the awning of the Ritz Carlton. “I don’t think I’ve ever been that happy about anything in my whole life.”
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