Humans are social creatures.
Our need to connect with others is deeply hardwired (and goes right back to when we'd hang out in groups so we could survive). Times have changed, but not being connected to others can still take a tremendous toll on our relationships, health, wellbeing, and our survival.
So when one in four Australians reports feeling lonely at least one day a week, it's something we need to pay attention to.
The issue is so pervasive, and its effects are so damaging, that experts warn of a "loneliness epidemic" that could be our next public health crisis.
This is why ABC Life will be focusing on the issue of social isolation and loneliness: Who's lonely in Australia; what we can do to start reconnecting; and what social isolation looks like in practice.
We're starting with television host Osher Gunsberg's account of living with complex mental illness.
What's driving our loneliness?
Chronic loneliness is on the rise in Australia, says Dr Michelle Lim from Swinburne University of Technology and the scientific chair of the Australian Coalition to End Loneliness.Many of us — including young people who appear popular and connected — lack strong meaningful relationships to enrich our lives and protect our physical and mental health, and wellbeing.
"We've got to get out of that stereotype that it's only elderly people that are lonely," says Elisabeth Shaw, CEO of Relationships Australia NSW.
Some Australians are lonely because they're socially isolated — disconnected from social support because of geography, a mobility issue or a life circumstance (although it's possible to be socially isolated and not lonely).
Others experience loneliness because the relationships we do have don't meet our needs, or leave us feeling unsupported and disconnected.
1. How we work
One major driver of social isolation in Australia is changes to the way we work.
Dr Lim says we now tend to live much further from our workplaces.
In the past, "many of us would work in a community and live in a community, but now people are willing to travel", Dr Lim says.
"If I'm living in Hawthorn but working somewhere that, with traffic, is an hour away, that's two hours of driving time every day. Those kinds of factors do influence our ability to connect."
Dr Woodward says people are increasingly moving to pursue economic opportunities, whether interstate or overseas.
"The rise of different ways of working including the fly-in fly-out models mean that people are less likely to remain in place for employment," Mr Woodward says.
2. How we live
"Our family size and family connections have changed," says Mr Woodward.For one thing, many more of us are living alone. Figures shows one quarter of private dwellings in Australia have only one person living in them.
Over the last couple of decades, the proportion of the population aged 15 years and over living alone has increased from 9 per cent to 12 per cent, ABS data reveals.
The Australian Loneliness Report in 2018 found an even higher percentage of respondents — 17 per cent — were living alone.
Dr Lim says this increase in people living alone and a fall in our marriage rate have both contributed to an increase in social isolation.
"And of course we are a relatively large country, and sometimes we find ourselves living far away from loved ones," Dr Woodward adds.
3. How we age
We're also living in an ageing society that doesn't always facilitate social connection for older Australians."We're moving toward a situation where over one quarter of the population will be over 65," Mr Woodward says.
All the lonely people: Who's most at risk?
Young Australians also report higher levels of loneliness, more depression symptoms and more social interaction anxiety, the Australian Lonely Survey found.
Young people, despite typically being surrounded by schoolmates and acquaintances, don't always connect with others in the way they may appear to on their social media accounts, Mr Woodward says.
In that age group "you have emerging mental illness as well, with high rates of anxiety and depression", Dr Lim says. It's also a stage of life marked by transitions — whether moving for work, building identities, or starting full-time employment and of course finishing school.
On the other end of the spectrum, "you have the older people, who experience loss of health, loss of mobility, loss of finances", Dr Lim says.
While the Australian Loneliness Survey found over-65s to be the least lonely age group, Dr Lim tells ABC Life that study drew on a rather small group of respondents in that age group.
While older Australians in that study were less lonely than younger groups, "the moment you hit illness, or your partner dies, or maybe there's a lot of health, you cant get out of the house, it may be a completely different game", Dr Lim says.
The Relationships Australia study found that people aged 55 to 64 experienced decreasing levels of social support and emotional loneliness associated with ageing. And after the age 64, social support rates continued to decrease — with one in four over-65s living alone — and emotional loneliness rates increased.
Loneliness and social isolation look different for men versus women, too.
Overall levels of loneliness for men are higher than women, the Relationships Australia study found.
But women reported higher rates of subjective emotional loneliness than men for every year of available HILDA data studied by Relationships Australia.
Married people were less likely to be lonely than single, separated or divorced Australians, the Australian Loneliness Report found. The highest rates of loneliness were reported by younger men who were widowed, followed by divorced and separated men in the Relationships Australia research.
But being married or partnered isn't a silver bullet for loneliness.
"The people who can look very connected and even have a partner can actually be really very lonely," says Ms Shaw.
Socially excluded groups may be more at risk
Individuals with mental health issues can also be more vulnerable to social isolation and loneliness — especially if their condition, such as anxiety or depression, by its nature makes them less able to engage socially, says Mr Woodward."And if a person has a disability with mobility restrictions" or an accident or injury that prevents them from getting out to work or community or sporting events, "that's going to be an issue" from a social isolation point of view too, Mr Woodward says.
Members of excluded groups or minorities — such as Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islanders, recent migrants or the LGBTI community — may also be at higher risk of loneliness.
There is an increased risk for loneliness "wherever there are elements of social exclusion in our society, where people because of their background — whether it be their gender identity or sexual orientation or the nature of their work or ethnic background — wherever there are forces to exclude them socially", says Mr Woodward.
According to ABS data, recent migrants are less likely than people born in Australia to have someone outside the household they could confide in.
Meanwhile, young LGBTI people are five times more likely to attempt suicide in their lifetime compared to straight people, and gay men have fewer close friends than straight people or gay women, studies out of the US have found.
Life transitions can trigger loneliness
That includes those who have recently lost a loved one and those who are lonely due to divorce and separation, Red Cross Australia found in a 2017 survey.
Job loss can also cause loneliness. For both males and females, being employed was consistently associated with lower rates of loneliness, Relationships Australia found. Men in particular who are unemployed or on income support benefits were very lonely.
Single parents are very susceptible to loneliness. For both males and females from the younger cohort, single parents reported the highest level of social isolation — 38 per cent for males and 18 per cent for women.
And Relationships Australia's research found the highest rates of social isolation for women were observed in the 25-29-year-old group — coinciding with the average age of becoming a first-time mother in Australia.
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